One of the hardest parts about getting used to my new reality has been not being able to play with my daughter. If you need to catch up, here is my last article to give some context.
I’m a stay at home mom so my instinct is to be not only motherly, obviously, but to chase her around and play with her. My nurse, at first, advised me to stay in bed to avoid anymore falls. So this has been impossible.
However, I started PT Saturday and I feel hope again for the first time. He gave me goals and exercises to practice. The neuropathy unfortunately may be the last thing to get resolved, but the focus is to restore the severe atrophy that has happened to my legs.
This will at least get me up and around again and closer to my old routine.
New Mornings
My mornings before were full of what we all take advantage of. I could sit up in bed unassisted and start my routine. I could get up and walk to the bathroom, get food, then start my day with my daughter when my wife went to work.
That has all changed abruptly. Now I wake up in a separate bed and watch them sleep while I lie here, usually sick to my stomach. It is difficult until my daughter wakes up and in her scratchy, 2 year old little voice says “hello mama.” That is the best sound in the world.
Being knocked out from under my feet so to speak has forced me to slow down and be able to just enjoy the beautiful little things that will soon be a memory.
Camera of Choice
I have been using the Fuji X100V mostly right now, especially for these dark early morning photos. I prefer film just because I love using the cameras, but the X100V handles the dark lighting and allows me to quickly transfer my photos to my phone so I can make these blog posts. Also, right now I just don’t physically have the ability to develop film and I don’t know when I will. So this is the weapon of choice for now.
What’s to Come?
My goals now are to work very hard on my PT so that I can get back to a routine with my daughter. I want to get stronger so I can start using film again instead of digital and express myself in the way I really want to.
These things, of course, are all secondary to the main goal of getting my new medication started and get stable again. That is unfortunately the part that’s out of my hands.
I’m going to have to start a lot of doctors appointments again which has always been a huge source of anxiety for me that film photography helped to alleviate in the past. So the future feels very daunting for me. However, I have goals now.
Final thoughts
So what about you all? What’s your routine like? Do you even have one? Do you record your life on camera regularly? I’d love to hear from you and I hope you’ve enjoyed my little journal updates and photos. I can’t wait until I can start making it outside again to include some photos in nature again.
Until next time, now more than ever, stay motivated and keep shooting.
Bravo, wanna see you back in full action, bless you.
Thank you
Thank you for the last two emails Aly. I am sorry to hear of your situation and am praying for healing to get you up and running again sooner rather than later.
I am preparing to travel to Japan to lead a small group photography tour. After years of travelling to Japan for work it is an interesting place to photograph with the architecture, people, trains and food. Very different to New Zealand.
Thank you for sharing your situation and allowing us to participate in your journey.
That sounds very exciting! I hope it goes well for you. Thank you for coming along with me on my journey. I appreciate it.
Dear Aly, I’m so, so sorry to hear that you’ve been so sick. I myself have had several emergency hospitalisations over the last few years; the first one was possibly the worst, with acute kidney failure needing intensive care, dialysis and so on. The others have been no picnics either, at a rate of one or two a year, usually for two weeks or so at a time and always something fresh and new! This year so far, I’ve got away with it and I’m pretty much ok, though of course there is the regular outpatient stuff as you say. But this is not really about me: I just wanted to let you know that when I was lying there, one thing that really cheered me up was to find there was a new post from AVCA to read. You’ve done so much good in the world with your work. I hope you can soon get back to it. With best wishes for a speedy recovery, from Ron
I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve had to go through that! But Hearing that seeing my posts cheered you up makes me so so happy. Thank you for telling me. I wish you healthiness as well.
Thanks for sharing your goals. Mine, as yours most likely are, remain flexible one day at a time due to MS. I write my “wishlist” each day in a pocket calendar. Each morning, my body tells me if I can accomplish my wishes or not. The only thing I force myself to do is attend one uni class a semester which I audit. If there are days I can’t make it, auditing allows me to stay home. Am still shooting with my iPhone and digital Fuji xt2. Need to get more film for my Leica.
Thank you for sharing that with me. I write mine in a little calendar as well. I find having things written out helps my anxiety. The Fuji XT2 is a great one.